THE IDES OF AUGUST 2019
We have experienced a recent death in our family and it is a painful loss. She was a daughter, a sister, a mother and a wife. And also loved by a large extended family of grandparents, aunts and uncles. As well as nieces, nephews and cousins; church family and friends. As is often the case, this passing was not expected. Which makes the sudden parting of a cherished loved one all the more difficult.
While we struggle to come to terms with our loss, we are also forced to adjust to the scope of this new reality. Our lives are radically and permanently altered because her beautiful voice, quick intellect and vivacious spirit is gone from our lives. Yet she remains part of the fabric of our family, for the impact of her life will stretch on through everyone she has touched.
Family is important to us as it is part of our image of ourselves; our world; and motivation for our behavior. This is in part because our relationship with family guides and helps shape the personalities we become. It is usually the group of people one learns to associate with first. Which can set the template for how we relate to other people we meet after those early experiences.
And the family is often a well-spring of caring, love and support for ourselves and our efforts. For your family can be your ally even when you find no other allies in the world. Since they may understand you on an emotional level that a mere acquaintance may not. Indeed it is the emotional link as much as the bond of blood which holds us together. Even when a loved one passes, the emotional ties and memories remain. As will be the case in our family.
Our challenge is to reconcile these feelings of remembrance with the loss of the physical presence. That absence includes losing the input of her ideas and thoughts; as well as any new experiences or reflections. Which means we can now only touch her indirectly. Such as through pictures, recorded messages; or from our memories and experiences and memories we share with others.
So although we will miss her presence, our image of her personality will always be with us. Which is strengthened by our family sharing their experiences with and perceptions of our absent loved one. Our hearts are heavy for we mourn her loss. But we celebrate the fact that she lived. We appreciate that she had joy in her life. And that she managed life on her own terms; while making a positive difference in the world.
Most importantly however, we will keep her in our thoughts and share these memories with others; to help keep her spirit alive in our family. We feel that this is the best way to respect her life and honor her memory. Which we trust is a good way to deal with the loss of a relative, a friend or anyone you love.
J. A. Stubbs, Editor-In-Chief
Forgotten Lore Publishing, llc